It was just too heavy to carry…Some things can wait, their childhood can’t.

I’ve always been up for a challenge. Going to school full time for my Bachelors (sometimes with a full course load plus another class) while working? Sure! Student teaching while doing my EdTPA certification and planning a wedding? Let’s do it! Having two babies(two full term pregnancies) in less than one year? Whew, yep did that one too. Parenting two toddlers, (step)parenting a preteen and working full time from home with five kids under three years old? Yep!

Adding getting my Masters to that? Yep….then again no. And that’s okay.

Every other time in my life those choices gave me so much joy and I had enough passion to overpower the sheer weight of each of those challenges. That doesn’t mean it was easy to do, it just meant it was worth it. It was worth the late nights, the sacrifices, the cost…and this time it wasn’t. It wasn’t worth missing family movie nights. The piles of laundry or dishes or clutter that built up. The mental load of the tasks of each individual responsibility that weighed heavily on my mind.

It wasn’t worth it.

Not in this season of life.

This season of life is filled with too many moments that I’ll never get back. Too many family game nights. Movie nights. Cuddles. Snuggles. Racing cars on the floor. Building train tracks. Wiping oatmeal handprints off my walls. Sleep regressions and early mornings. And coffee….lots and lots of coffee…

And I don’t want to miss a second of it. I don’t want to miss a smile, a laugh, a moment of family bonding over a board game. My Master’s will always be there. It’s always been an option and it always will be. My children’s childhood is only for so long. And I intend to be present during all of it.

So be present. Embrace the chaos. Scrub the walls occasionally. Prioritize the now and learn to say no to things that can wait. And sip your coffee…even if it’s cold.